Dorm Basics

We have all heard the horror stories of bad college roommates. I wish I could tell you they are in fact just rumors, but I knew way too many people who had terrible roommates. You, the individual, are just as responsible for being a good roommate as they are.

The most important advice I can give is that you should try having a roommate for at least a semester before you throw in the towel. Learning to share space with another person, even one who is rude and discourteous, is an important step to becoming a social person.

That shared space is step 1 to being able to communicate effectively even when you are upset or tired or overwhelmed. Your dorm room is its own class; the subject matter is cohabitation.

Let’s go over the basics of what you need to take with you to college. This list is everything I and all my friends actually needed for our first year. If possible, try figuring out the dimensions of dorm rooms on your campus, most have it written down on their websites somewhere.

Things you should coordinate with your roommates/ suitemates:

Your university will set a move in day, look out for the instructions on timing and what to do beforehand.

The other thing you can do before moving into your dorm is reach out to your future roommate. Some of you will get a bit of choice when it comes to roommates, I call it the dorm dating website where you scroll through other students looking for roommates. While it seems fun to pick a roommate based on your interests, I think your main concern should be if you both like the same living conditions.

Main clashes that can arise are temperature of the dorm room; do you like it warm hot or cold? You also may disagree on cleanliness. What times you view as sleep or quiet time versus when music playing and movement makes sense is another factor.

Something not everyone considers, socialization. Do you want to bring people to hang out in your dorm? Do you mind if your roommate has people over? What if those people are the opposite gender? Are you okay with sleepovers? Boyfriends and girlfriends?

I was lucky. I got put with a semi-random person. A total stranger to me, who later admitted that their mom picked me out. We immediately agreed to a freezing room with both of us being comfortable with weekly cleaning routines.

My roommate had no plans of bringing guys into the room or anyone unless I knew that person first. We both liked it pitch black at night and appreciated long talking sessions as well as long quiet periods.

I have lived with them for 3 years now, and all our friends hated their freshman roommates. Our success in cohabitation was questioned a lot because of this. The key is we talked it all out before even meeting each other. We sent back and forth our packing lists, talked about who had a fridge and who had a coffee pot. We even tried coordinating our dorm décor.

My freshman roommate and I had nothing in common other than our living conditions, and now they are one of my favorite people in the world.

I do live in a room alone now; my freshman roommate and another friend are my suitemates (means the people who share a hall and bathroom with you). But learning to share such a small space with someone helped me figure out how to communicate my needs and health pretty early into university.

This is why I suggest a roommate, at least for a year. Learning to worry about not just your own needs, but another person’s while trying to balance privacy and friendship is hard. Yet that challenge made communication with my own parents and siblings easier afterwards.

Now skip ahead to move in day. You have all your stuff crammed into a car or two. You went through check in and have your brand-new key in hand. Campus is swarming with people and cars. Do not just start unpacking the minute you pull up to your dorm if you can avoid it. Instead, park and walk in alone. Just your key and phone needed.

Colleges like to charge students for small damage to dorm rooms. If you take the time to look over every inch of your dorm room before you start unpacking, you may be able to save yourself some money later. I would turn on my phone flashlight and look over every wall, taking pictures of anything that wasn’t smooth white paint.

Then I would look at all the college provided furniture. Take photos of any drawers that don’t work right or huge nicks and scuffs. Go in your closet and look over those walls too. Make sure to check the ceiling and floor, sometimes there is damage there. If you have a private/shared bathroom, be extra thorough in there. If you have photos of damage before you even move your things in, then you can avoid charges for those damages.

My university had us fill out a room status form when we had finished moving in, feel free to attach those photos and mark everything as slightly damaged if you have a similar form. A dorm room always comes damaged; it is better to lie about preexisting damage than have to fight charges on damage you didn’t notice.

For those of you who struggle with dust or cleanliness, once you have finished your inspection you can bring in cleaning supplies and clean everything. There will be dust and dirt on the floor, the surfaces are always questionable.

Then unpack. I tried for larger things first, mattress topper and carpet. But this is your show now, so do as you wish.

Enjoy your fancy new dorm!

A few things about living in the dorm throughout the year:

If there is a shared bathroom situation, be mindful of other residents. Even if only 2 of you are sharing a bathroom versus an entire floor, you can still do your best to make sure you leave the bathroom clean and don’t take 3 hour showers. (Real thing my freshman year suitemate did.)

As a roommate, you should invest in some good headphones that hook up to your phone and computer. Blasting music at late hours is a sure way to make enemies of roommates, suitemates, and even the people across the hall.

Your roommate does not need to be your best friend. I have had a roommate I barely tolerated, but we did okay living together because we both alerted each other before we had guests, if we had early morning alarms, or needed to take a longer shower.

Try to figure out who your RA (Residential Assistant) is and be friendly. Again, you don’t have to be friends with this person but having a good relationship may mean you know more about what is happening in your building.

Most universities require 1 room check a semester and 1 fire drill a semester. If you have contraband, like a hot plate or substances, make sure to put them in a drawer or bag. Your RA’s cannot look through your stuff for the most part. Campus security is a different story.

Don’t be afraid to ask your RA for help if they are kind. Some RAs are overworked and made me feel bad asking them things cause they seemed so stressed, so this is a judgement call on your part.

If you are worried about things being forgotten, write it down. We keep track of when and who cleaned the bathroom last in our suite. We also keep our schedules on the wall so we can keep track of where our other roommates are.

Maybe you need a whole cleaning schedule on the wall so you don’t feel annoyed for reminding everyone. Find what works for you and your roommates.

Prepare for extreme temperatures. Dorm buildings often will only have AC or Heat on, not both. That means if the temperature outside fluctuates a lot, you are left wishing for more flexibility.

If you do choose to live alone, I hope you keep an active social life. Do not let yourself hide away for too long in that room of yours. Dorm life can be fun and stressful and all kinds of chaos. I hope this has helped you feel a bit more prepared for all things you face.